i understand about how hurts can build up... and about how hurt feelings can build up...

i think that generally those hurts can be prevented from becoming major upsets by...

people expressing how they feel a little earlier.
there is a difference between saying how you feel...
and saying stuff about what other people are up to what other people are doing.

i'm not so very good at that :-(
but it is a great skill IRL.
great conflict resolution skill.
great way to prevent things getting to the point of conflict
but it is hard yeah.

i'm sorry people feel like they are being given a hard time.
sorry when anyone feels like that.

i think if you express your feelings as your feelings...
then others can attend to your feelings
others are more likely to attend to your feelings
but it can be hard to express feelings as feelings...

don't even know what i'm feeling most of the time.