It sounds like you suffer a social phobia, many people suffer different types of phobias, you just need to learn to deal with it, the irrational fears may make you have negative thinking about yourself consequently making you become depressed. Look for counseling or therapy, there are many non profit organizations that offer counseling at low cost. You are still young and therapy work wonders in young people. We all have issues, nobody is "normal". Try not to be to harsh on yourself.