I have experienced many of the same things you have. A couple exceptions...my husband of almost 23 yrs, and I, sold our home, split the equity and bought places of our own. We are still married...but live separately.

But a much more devastating experience was when my first husband walked out on me and our 2 & 1/2 yr old son. He lived together with my therapist!!!! Can you believe it? It was very difficult to have to deal with all of that. My son is now 30 and I'm glad all of that is behind me.

It sounds like you view yourself very negatively. Have you ever been involved in counseling? Regarding your weight...If you want to lose weight then fine......but it doesn't make you a bad or unlovable person for being over weight. Our culture focuses so very much on appearance rather than inside beauty. My 21 yr old daughter is very over weight...but she is the happiest jolliest person I know....and she is loved by a good many of people.

There is a book I recommened to another person who posted here, that I think would be of help to you. It's called "Telling Yourself The Truth" by William Backus & Marie Chapian (ISBN 0-87123-562-5). Here is an excerpt that caught my attention when I first read the book:
"Most of what happens in your life happens because of the way you think. Wrong thinking produces wrong emotions, wrong reactions, wrong behavior...and unhappiness. Telling yourself the truth can show you how to identify your own misbeliefs and replace them with the truth."

I hope that may be of some help to you.
Please get back with us and keep us up-dated, ok?

Sweet

"It's never too late to be what you might have been". George Eliot