Hey everyone, I've received PMs from different people and I appreciate all of them..

I'm going through a really tough time.. Toughest yet.

I don't think I've ever had such a painful breakup... And at first it was him not treating me right so I left.. But somehow the tables turned and it ended up with me getting ignored and abandoned

I know I should move on. I pray that I move on...

2 and a half years..
Just a month ago we were still making plans for the future... When we should get married.. Our next car... Our first kid next year..

Now... Shattered dreams....

I can't explain how sad and lost I am...

I'm sorry that I can't really be there for anyone right now...
Nearly all my days are bad... And I end up asking the lord to take me in my sleep...
And I'm afraid of being alone because I just get consumed by my thoughts and memories.

Can't eat, can't focus on anything (I've stop doing the online dbt cuz I can only think of scenarios with him in them... And I don't want to go there) don't want to go out either cuz afraid to go anywhere that will bring memories back.

He was my life for 2 and a half years... My life... Now it's gone...