Quote:
Originally Posted by purplegrape
Hi pfrog. I know, it is so difficult isn't it? That feeling of being out of control is so horrible. You say that the more you freak out the more you eat. What is it that makes you "freak out"? Perhaps if you can identify your feelings then you can start to unpick the situation...
Stay strong guys, we will all get through this. Also, remember TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. xoxoxoxo
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Sometimes it's just the pressures of life and utilizing it as an inappropriate coping mechanism ...
Most other times it's a deep seated fear that if I don't eat as much as I can at this moment, I may not get another chance to for a long, long time ...
Other times it's simply my everything ... A mother, a father, a lover, a friend, a comforter ... In other words, all those things I didn't get as a child (along with food being given and withheld as a form of reward and punishment) ...
I can remember being so hungry as a toddler that I would hide in the kitchen pantry and eat Gaines Gravy Train Dog Food straight from the bag ... If I got caught (which I often was) I'd get badly beaten for it ... I can still remember how salty that dog food tasted, but it certainly silenced that gnawing grumble in the pit of my gut ...
Needless to say my eating disorder started early and has lasted long ... I've fiercely wrestled with food issues my whole life ... !!!
