I used to lose control. I would get angry for no reason and just lose it, completely. Sometimes physical (never striking, more grabbing and shoving), sometimes just verbally abusive. It was ugly. The ugliest and most disgusting **** I've ever been a part of... It's been about 3 years since anything like that has happened, but because I haven't been with anyone since her. I have been regretting every second of it since. I don't ever want to put somebody else through that again. I want to make sure that I'm never going to do that again to anyone ever.. So until then, I'll just keep everyone at a distance.