As a brief backstory, my name is Hayley and I'm 15. I've been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (stemming from ritual assault), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Trichotillomania.

I’m afraid this is my next destination. I’m afraid to go, yet I’m afraid of what I’m going to do to myself if I don’t go. I haven’t told my psychiatrist, hynotherapist, or psychotherapist about how depressed and suicidal I’ve been because I know their policies are they have to tell someone or get me help if I do. I’m cutting, I’m overdosing, I’m ripping my hair out like no tomorrow all the while trying to escape the thoughts and memories flooding so rapidly in my own head I’m slipping off the edge and tumbling to the brink of suicide. I’m also afraid of what my parents are going to think when they find out. It’s not their fault I’m this way, and I don’t want them to think it is… I don’t want to hurt them, but I know if this keeps going on my hurting myself is only going to ruin them more. What will they even do there? What is it even like? Is it worth it, will it help me? I don’t trust myself, I don’t.