Callsta+12,

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time as well. Sleeping is so hard for me. Even with trazadone here I am at 130am still wide awake. Then I take adderall during the day to help me stay alert. As I've been lying here tonight crying, thinking, I decided I need to talk to my MD tomorrow too and maybe get my Effexor dosage upped. I just can't do this on my own. It's a miserable existance as you all probably know with your own life issues. I guess what I need to know is that one day I'll feel different. That one day I'll look back and realize that I survived. Right now that seems like a pipe dream. Second to second is all I can do. I'm a good person, I help the less fortunate, I care about people's feelings. Not that I'm Super Woman or anything but I deserve to be happy. I deserve and want a life. Why is it SO darn hard to simply exist? I know I probably sound redundant in a lot of my posts but I'm typing my feelings as they pop in my head. This I know for sure: Depression SUCKS!