Hey everyone, i thougth id come on to ask for abit of advice from everyone.

i dont know if many of you have read my previous post about my sexual abuse i had from my brother 9 years ago. well i still live my brother and back in January of this year i confronted him about it, saying to him that i still remember and his response was very disapointing for me, he showed no sense of guilt, sorrow, or anything towards me. all he said was "oh, i was 16 at the time, i was f****d up then" which i thought was quite insensitive condering the abuse has had an effect on me up until today, i find it hard to trust anyone and when i do begin to trust someone i then get paranoid that they will hurt me etc.

but the reason i want your advice is because i still live my brother, and lately (since january) i have had growing feelings of hatred towards him, its got to the stage where i find it so hard being near him, whether it be in the same room or just under the same roof. i just dont know what to do about it, obviously my dad doesnt know about the whole abusve subject so i cant confide in him, nor does anyone else in my life know. i just dont know what to do about it, and i am currently having a row with my brother over MSN messenger (even though we are in the same house, hes in his bedroom, ive locked myself in mine) and hes sayin that im always moody and it gets to him the fact that i, and i quote: "treat him like %#@&#! all the time", just before that he said "but you shouldnt make others around you have to put up with your problems". he just doesnt understand what im going through, and i dont know what to do, i get scared, and sometimes it really upsets me because its such a big issue to me at the moment.

id like to be able to move out, but financially i cant, so i have to stay here, and so i have to see him everyday which makes it harder for me. i just need some time to help me get over it, but i am finding it so hard and its making me feel exhausted emotionally and is the main reason im feeling low lately. the last thing i want to do is take it out on others around me and i feel myself doing that lately, ive noticed myself getting grumpy around others and its getting harder keeping it to myself, i will keep it to myself, solely because have councilling every week...and i can come on here and express my problems.

the arguements still going on between him and me at the moment, hes moaning at me because i dont get out the house as often as he does so im classed as boring to him. but i need to be myself sometimes just to try and deal with things.

has anyone got any helpful suggestions, they are all welcome.

thanks for listening (or shall i say, reading) guys

speak soon