wisewomen,
I can totally relate. Some people have a very hard time believeing that a mother would do these things, they can understand fathers easier and it is more excepted than a mothers abuse. To me, my mother is also dead, and she is living her life due to her actions. I often in therapy talked about how she is out there living life, without being at least punished for what she did and my T said, believe him, she is being punished by not having you or your brother and grandkids in her life. He is right , ya know.