I've been drinking since I'm 15 years old. And was a blackout drinker from the start (I'm 29 now). At 1st it was fun and social. But by 21-25 I drank 6-7 days a week. During which I had a toxic relationship which added to my heavy drinking. I've attempted to kill myself and was very aggressive during blackouts. I didn't drink at work but couldn't wait to get home to get "numb". My excuse was I was functioning, my bills were always paid. When I met my husband I was 23yrs old; I still drank a lot but the last three/four years I've been struggling with stopping all together. I've always known in my heart it couldn't be normal how I behaved when I drank. I was dry for 11mths once and miserable most of that time, plus it was for my husband not for myself.
My last run was this st pattys day. It wasn't my worst or my bottom either. I just noticed the progression was starting all over again. I went from drinkin once a month, to once every other week, to once a week, that weekly and the amounts were doubling as well. I got home at 6am that morning, mind you I started at about noon. Normally my husband yells about it, saying I'm a drunk and he can't deal with my BS anymore. Not this time. He's a real mans man, and I have to say it was the 2nd time I saw my husband break down. The defeat in his eyes broke my heart. Something in me just said "enough is enough". I was 100% honest with him, even though I was so fearful to admit I had a serious problem. That when he was at work at night I would drink whatever we had in the house. And sometimes even buy two bottles of whine for myself. He dumped all the booze we had in our bar area out that very moment. Regardless if he was going to leave me I knew I couldn't keep on this path because one day it would kill me.
Today I attend AA. I'm working my program for myself because I grew sick and tired of being sick and tired. I started going to AA meetings a day after and have been in them every since. By the grace of god I'll be six months sober Sept 19th. I'm grateful for soberity, the rooms, my AA family, my friends, and certainly the support from my husband. I couldn't do this without any of that.
And Thank you for starting this awesome thread!!