I had a realization about some behavior in the past and even now. My brother who is forever talking about the past. So annoying. He was laughing at the time i threw my then husbands tools away. I was laughing along and then it hit me. All the times I was impulsive. Compulsive had bad judgement. I crossed boundries. Disrespected people. The list goes on. I was manic when i acted on these things! Not so amusing! I feel ashamed and remorseful and I dont want anyone getting a kick off of my illness. I want to make amends where I can in time. Hanging my head really im no joke.