StringCheese and MDDBPDPTSD I am in the boat with you with questioning it... OpenEyes, Split Image and Pfrog Thank you all for what you have wrote.. it not only gives at least a little hope-- it gives some reassurance.

Hellion, yes coping skills to manage it I think has a lot to do with it... One time a while back it was mentioned of practicing -- a lot of practicing, it was something my S/O told me that he had to do, and other PC members mentioned that too is a good thing to remember.. Nothing is going to happen over night.

I have noticed here lately I have gotten into that rough thinking pattern again of I will not get better- I will not be better- I will be what I fear with being older, and either worse, or not much better than now...

But I have been telling myself as well-- If I Keep Thinking that Negative attitude, how can I expect to be better unless I try?

Even if I try and fail- at least there should be a learning lesson with that, even if it takes me a while to catch on.. perhaps all I will have in my life, is what I like to call: little epiphanies, but at least that is something- even if not able to change ever thing that has been 'wired in a strange way' or with my little brain wedges being shrunk

Many hugs to all of you...