hmm. i don't think about it too much. i don't really wonder about it too much either... in fact... i don't really want to know. but then... i don't want to know ANYTHING about my t outside therapy. i'd be happiest lying down not having to look at them... i think i would like to try analysis one day... not traditional analysis a bit more direction please but i think i'd like not knowing about them and stuff. i worry what they think of me a lot and stuff like that. would rather not. and would rather... they didn't say much... just let me work through stuff but said the odd thing to snap me out of unhelpful head cycles...

in general... i don't want to know. no interest whatsoever. not sure why... maybe because... i don't know... i'm not really sure why...