First off, you're not a joke, that's for sure. Secondly, I agree with Dan that you shouldn't beat yourself up. And third, sometimes we have to learn to laugh at ourselves because finding humor in something bad can actually be healing, so don't feel bad that you laughed at first. I'm a big believer in the healing power of laughter and humor.

So to make amends, you will get to a point where you can make amends with some people and others you won't be able. I don't know if you're still in contact with your ex-husband, but maybe apologizing will help you feel better about it. As for your brother, talk to him about it and let him know what your'e feeling and thinking. Tell him, maybe it seems funny now, but you actually realize that you hurt your ex by doing that, and it isn't something you feel is funny. Maybe also tell him there are things you would rather leave in the past.