....so I will anyway!

with everything thats happened to me.

I don't feel much anymore....I feel things from the nose up...I cry sometimes but just to myself I cry sometimes.

I am surprised at just how hard my heart is. my heart is not connected to my eyes...otherwise I would freaking dehydrate!

bipolar living at the age of 41 does not have alot of personal benefits for me....combine the borderline disorder and the adhd and I am a real complication!

...labels aside ...they mean little I know just what I'm dealing with here and it's not something I would know what to do with.

....and yet I am trusted every day to manage me just as I see fit.

...so back to the damn point.

I was in 'love' once before...this was an event this was God in my pocket this was emotional immortality this was atmospheric heartbeats this was way too overwhelming for my altered mind.

the only way I could handle it was to ruin it I didn't know I did this but it took years to tear completely the rip I was made to make it was insane.

bipolar love is emotional warzone for the soft.

my heart is hard now it just beats but I still cry but not much

sad hey?

tmi