yeah probably...yes

but I can't let it stay sad for long.

it's a unique awareness to accept that the fairy tales are for other people.

...and maybe just maybe the fairy tales are for nobody at all I just got there first.

...I was off on a track here...some way to minimise it .

but that would be stupid after making a topic out of it yeah?

sure I am troubled upset evn very angry and damn it!...

it goes right to the very core of me I cannot make the best thing in life happen because I am such a mess.

so I shut it out I pay the price and so do many incidental and also meaningful people in my life miss out....

because no matter who you or we or I am or are we have a gift of love ...

but I just am too much of a damn coward to share mine anymore...so it seems...
and I don't accept my mental problems I expect to be able to deal with it but I'm seriously stuck.

I let myself feel I go manic...

I let myself be real I panic...

thats more than I like to write