Quote:
Originally Posted by Roadie
Thanks beauflow. In this case my sponsor thinks that I am not willing to take a chance with someone because of a lack of will, not because my sobriety would be at stake. I see myself as weak, but maybe I am just lazy--or scared. When she's pushed me in the past, I've always benefited--and in general, she seems to know me better than I know myself.
As someone pointed out recently, my fears about this are based more on my imagination than on any reality.
"Good grief, Charlie Brown!" as the saying goes. I hate decisions!!
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roadie, fear and feelings are not facts. they are just feelings. the false beliefs we have about ourselves can really cause us to not take that leap of faith. i've found that taking a risk in order to grow spiritually was well worth it.
you may feel you are weak but think about it. you had the courage to get sober and stay sober. that is just one of your strengths and an amazing one. consider writing a list of things about yourself that people see in you. invariably others see us in a more positive light. that takes you out of self to be more objective. we all are so hard on ourselves. only looking at the glass half full will cause us to feel less than. YOU are not. all of us in AA are sick people trying to get well. pat yourself on the back for getting sober. that's a good start. like they say, "bring the body and the mind will follow."
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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