I was looking for forums for people to talk to or just ask for advice and this seemed like a really good place to go. For starters I had a "rough" childhood, I was the product of two teenagers experimenting with drugs so they were not ready for a child. Of course they didnt stay together so I ended up living with my mom first. She was part of a lot of drug groups and brought a lot of ****** people home. A lot of them abused both of us and there was nothing I could do. The worst of it was when someone broke in because she wouldn't sell them any drugs, so he raped her. When I tried to go and help her he punched me and knocked me out.
This continued until I was twelve, then i went to live with my dad. I figured things would be better from there. They were better until he met my soon to be step mother. My dad being so young wasnt really much of a dad, and was more of an older brother who would help me out from time to time. So when he met her what little bit of a relationship we had vanished. Of course this led to my step mother and I not getting along and I eventually moved out to live with a friend and finish up high school. I am now a sophomore at College and things have just gotten worse.

Up until now I have always been able to reflect on these things and be positive about it. Anymore though I am just mad, all the time. Nothing seems to cheer me up. And worst of all Im starting to be really mean to my girlfriend of four years because of it. Now dont take this the wrong way I would never lay a finger on her, but I do acknowledge I am hurting her mentally and slowly destroying our relationship. I just don't know what to do she tells me "just be happy" "you are just down and mean all the time". Im trying so hard, but I just cant seem to cheer up.

I really need advice, should I get help? Or has anyone been through something similar? Please any bit of advice would help me.

P.S. I am sorry for the bad grammar or spelling errors, I am writing this in a hurry because I just do not know what to do.