hey,

i see where your therapist is coming from with the idea to have your boyfriend keep doing that.. however I have not had much success with that method because to me it seems like, I really just need to be the one deciding exactly who is going to touch me, where and when, and it can't be something i allow at the advice of anyone else. This is my conclusion after a few years of trying stuff like what you're talking about. i had a therapist say I should not give up safe touch and that even if it did not feel safe to me, i should try to remind myself i am not in danger. What happened with that was, even when I managed not to be freaked out or have flashbacks, i would get really angry. I would notice in my head stuff like "so what if it is safe, it is awful anyway so just get away from me leave me alone" etc. You didn't say anything about the anger issue and maybe it is not a problem for you, if not that's great & I am not saying you should feel anger if you don't.

best regards
cthonica