s4nd - thanks for that.. its reassuring to know there are others that feel that way too .. it helps.. it truly does.. He's coming back from work (he works in another town for weeks at a time) tonight so it should be an interesting <sarcasm> week given our conversations the past couple of weeks. *sigh* Part of me just wants to rip the bandaid but at the same time I cant be the one that does it.

I can feel the panic attack coming.. bleh..