As hard as all this is on you, its just as hard on the people around you. They might just be venting their frustrations. Im sure no one wants you to die. I comend you for posting and getting your feelings out. Its really hard, life is never easy!
Have you thought about counseling for you and the people around you. They have support groups that help "caregivers" and people around to help cope with whats going on. Just a thought
Stay strong