Hi...thanks for sharing all this. I'm new and not sure I'm in the right part of Forum...I'm not combat ptsd. I am told that it depends a lot on the type of trauma...mine is all related to my husbands illness and spinal cord injury and hospitals, doctors, nurses, smells, our van if it breaks down...if his home care aid doesn't show up, even certain cell phone rings from when he was in ICU...you name it. I hope to be able to deal better as I know I will be faced with these situations the rest of my life. I didn't realize it was ptsd...since have learned that watching him suffer, placed on a vent, in ICU, all this is also reason. And that being a spousal caregiver...the loss of your partner as you 'knew them'...a lot of ptsd related symptoms. I just want to be a 'nice' reasonable person again...not angry and screaming at every little thing. Not hiding in the guest room to avoid making a scene. Feeling like I'm a monster!