from your description, she didn't sound horrified. she sounded like she was containing it all, like she was totally prepared and thinking on her feet and able to support you and ready to catch you if you fell. I just had this picture of her standing next to you, arms open, and you as helen keller on ice skates. silly but her knowing stuff like it was a latch. really powerful stuff. it just felt like you really bonded. that is being in the moment and telling about, not reporting it from a distance, which pbutton says they say "doesn't count". every word of what you say counts. like blood, not water.