i am grateful that you took the fact into account,bark.i am gonna tell the consultant about it who i found in ad papers recently,you guys give me the courage,it is new here,there's just hospital here on this matter before,which mainly are locked up wards.the fact is an undeniable fact,but denied by people i talked to here for years and that's something therefore leaves me so little space to think normally.because in our culture,we don't say much about parents' fault,most of time we say it is so hard they raise us to what we are that we always should be thankful....i do have the diagnosis name for my problem here,but as i said,they mainly deal severe psychiatric problems,they don't talk to you much,only talk to you when prescribe you meds....thanks again for listening to me on it.oh.