Thanks for sharing that. I once told a therapist I had no reason to be depressed, and after some talking realized there was a whole lot going on that I just wanted to ignore, to go away. It sounds like you have a lot going on too. It's ok, you're not superwoman, and you don't have to do it all by yourself. Maybe you've failed at some things, maybe not, but you are not a failure. We sometimes expect perfection from ourselves, expect ourselves to be stronger than any circumstances. It's a surefire way to be dissappointed. I didn't think I had time to grieve over anything, didn't want to feel the pain, but it inevitably happens in one form or another. Maybe talking to a professional about some of these things can help you. At any rate, glad you're here and talking to us.