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granite1 · Aug 30, 2012, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

What you are feeling is normal. You've kept your past hidden from everyone but now you've trusted your T enough to let her see a little bit. You don't have to open the door all the way at once. You're right that you can't go backwards but you can go slowly. Your T doesn't think YOU are horrible. She thinks what was done TO YOU was horrible. You can trust her to help you heal. I know you're scared but you're going to be all right. Try not to think TOO much about it during the next 2 weeks. This might be a good time for distraction. Remember your T is on your side. Her only goal is to help you feel better.

thanks rain it does feel strange that someone who isnt on pc knows some of my dirty past. someone who i can see,i can't ignore.i'm scared she isn't going to be able to take this on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

((Granite))

I can understand your distress about opening this subject accidentally when your T is just about to leave. But it's something you would have had to talk about eventually.

thanks cant i think that i must have said this now because of her going away it seemed safer.i hope it will give me some time to be ok with what i have done

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Granite maybe it was time you told her something like that and now it's out there. Our minds have ways of giving us things when we are ready. Your T knew there was more then you were telling her and everyone is right...she does like you and is there to help you. I'm very proud of you for the slip up, I'm sure this will lead to more sharing and healing. We all love you honey and you know that. We are all here for you. I also agree that there is a huge difference between you and your past... The things that were done to you as a child, that coat of shame and embarrassment is not yours to wear, it belongs on the ones who did those things to you. Be kind to yourself honey, I know it's hard. Pm me if you ever need anything.

it sure is out there lola and i hope i am ready i have never done this and even as i am posting here a am panicing ang want to take it back

anyway she had to know there was more. i wish the mother was able to feel the shame i do for even just a short time but i doub't she is able.thanks lola love ya this is stuff that is always going throught my head and causing all kinds of didtress i hope having it out there may slow it down some