Hi lornalady, and welcome! Thanks for posting this. From where I'm sitting, I think your T is out of line, and you need to find a T who a) does not mind you going to couples therapy with your SO, and more importantly b) isn't judgmental about the way you as consenting adults choose to have sex. Her reference to your "way of being" creeps me out a little, it sounds like she's making a moral judgment about your lifestyle and your sexual orientation, which is just not on, not for a therapist. And why on earth did she need to make an uninformed and uncalled for judgment call on your suitability as parents, especially since you'd already said that that wasn't going to happen anyway??

I didn't quite understand if there was a fourth appointment that you did not go to? If so, have you decided what you want to do about that in future?

You deserve to get help from somebody who acts as a professional. This wasn't it, and I'm really sorry you had to go through that.