Ugh,
I have today but not with regular T (she's still on vacation until next week). And not with the doctor office T. Seriously, do I win an award for having the most Ts? Well I never contacted doctor office T again so I don't think she counts - I only had that intro appointment with her and am avoiding the doctor because I have enough trouble talking to ONE T. And this one sets up things for school so I can run out of a classroom panicking if I need to and the prof won't fail me.

She's actually the first T I ever saw back when the ex and I started having issues. I can remember how nervous I was ....I don't know that I've improved that much on the pre-T nervous front regarding any of them. But I think it's giving me hot flashes.

I really want to keep it on school topic today with her but I haven't seen T in two weeks and my head is all swampy and I'm in some sort of perma panic mode and sigh. It's not like I'm the blurting type. I've wished I was a thousand times but it all gets stuck. But if I start to allude to other problems I know she's going to invite me back. And I don't not like her but like I said I can barely manage to talk to one T. And I know she's going to ask how things are going with ex...who she doesn't know is an ex. And she's going to ask about what happened and when etc and then she's going to ask how I'm doing. Also I'm too nervous/don't want to tell her that I see another T because I have this ridiculous complex about hurting people's feelings. And "I know it won't hurt her feelings" because she doesn't have the availability to see me much more than once a month ish but sometimes knowing just doesn't work.