i am sorry,perna,you didn't take the fact into account,i have been discouraged by my mom on many things.you guys didn't ask how the two things are related,i can tell you.in general sense,i behave really good,i make no troubles,i help on some housework,ect,as i am an adult now,i should have some money to relax.but on concrete matters,everyday things,which have to involve others,she acts on her inner principles,which are after power and status kind of things and face saving,as i am weak and different,she's not on my side.