Hi stratocaster,

Thanks for posting your story. I've been going through the same that you have and it feels good knowing that I'm not the only one feeling like you, and maybe you can see that you're not alone in this.

I'm also a recovering alcoholic but I'm still having problems with over spending and controlling my emotions. I snap at anyone near me, and I have purposely started fights to vent, start feeling good as it comes out, but only to then start feeling miserable for what I just did. I feel worthless and not good enough for anyone and believe that my family would be better off with someone other than me. Sucks because we all know it's not true, but yet we believe it and live by it.

Your words that you want to be a part of something but your feel like an outsider. That's me, I have this uncontrollable drive to do things and be a part, but I always stop because I feel that I am also not good enough for their group and will always be an outsider to them. I've left social groups because of this, and one time blamed them for being elitists. I regret that.

I don't want to high jack your thread, but yes, I feel this things and so do a lot of people on here. I'm not taking any treatment because I have no insurance so professional help is out the window. So I come here, read as much as I can so I learn to help myself and control my emotions. Trust me, you said things that I personally go through and I'm sure there is more so you're not alone.