Wow thanks Sway, this is such a huge relief to know I'm not the only one who has this experience, it really really is. This whole way of thinking and feeling that I have always had, yet only now have put a 'name' to. This takes some of the power out of it for me...

And thank you, you have no idea (or perhaps you do) how much relief I feel that I am not the only one with these challenges.

Like you've explained, my in the world / work/ social person is not my home person either, many acquaintances and friends know me as funny, kind and relaxed. When sometimes the slightest action or word on another's part will lead me into a spiralling inner-fit, chaotic self-berating in my head and all inward defenses moved from stand-by to the frontlines!

A limited few know the emotional challenges I struggle with, I am lucky that my partner, family and a few VERY close friends are supportive. I am constantly told in this personal support network that it is not my 'fault' I am this way. That recovery is possible...

However, it's SO much different hearing from another person with the same struggles. I get a sense of solidarity, thank you very much for sharing your experiences. I'm pretty hopeful about the future, it seems like a long path, but I am willing to do it. It feels like such a weight off of my shoulders that I don't have to do it alone, there is support and people on the exact same path.