well think i understand your question and yes. we turn it over (let go, let HP handle it) to our HP when it's beyond our scope of understanding. that is what we can do instead of becoming mired in our own mind with no understanding in sight. here's what i do in cases similar to yours-i pray that my HP will help me understand my part in something. then i wait. if it's supposed to be revealed to me it will happen. then i can learn by my mistake and change that behavior. if i totally don't understand i pray and say just that. then i leave it up to my creator. i guess you could say it's a leap of faith. i know if i keep the faith it will be revealed to me.
the *active part i/you can do is to write down how i/you perceived the situation. then walk away. reread the next day, etc. i can either see my truth or my skewed thinking will be revealed by reading what i wrote. then i can strive to overcome the character defect and replace it with a trait i can be proud of.* like anger for example. i used to have rage. not often but i didn't understand why i got SO angry sometimes. i prayed for this defect of character to be removed from my behavior. (if i asked for the miracle to get sober and it happened why shouldn't i be helped with this by my HP?) i also looked at what i was feeling when i got so mad. it stemmed from fear actually. fearful then going into rage to "protective mode." that was the footwork i needed to do. recognize the anger first before i blew. by doing so i rarely lose it anymore. it has been replaced with serenity. something i will fiercely protect cause my life has changed so much for the better.
hope this may aid you, (((roadie)))
ask for help/pray and do the *footwork too.