I see where you're husband is coming from. Keeping busy is okay. Keeping busy to the point of burnout or ignoring the emotional things is not okay. You do need time to yourself or time just remembering to do things you might enjoy or that you know fuel and inspire you. Doing things is fine. I think maybe learning what it is you do to feel better--things like journal writing, relaxing, listening to music, exercising, hobbies, cognitive therapy. Learning to do these things and explaining them to your husband, especially if cognitive therapy should help, would be valuable to your husband. First, you've got to figure out for yourself which of these things work. Plus, I think he may need a little counseling himself to explain to him that you need extra verbal stroking. Either that or a book, or something on cognitive therapy or positive thinking or affirmations, or how we need about five or ten or possibly a lot more positive things said to balance out any one negative thing said. If you can find something on the power of positive and loving talk for balancing out talk that is negative, that would be great to show to your husband. This is true for children, and it's true for adults.

If there is negative talk, it must be balanced with positive talk.

I hope you get to work trying to feel better. It is true that depression can seem out of proportion to any one grief or any combination of griefs, but sometimes the brain chemistry runs out and then you get negative emotional reactions. So, it just happens. Stress, a delicate brain chemistry to begin with. Then you figure out what makes it better.

I wish you luck in learning what makes you feel better.