Lucky 13,

I don't know what to say, except that I am really, really sorry to hear about this extrordinary ordeal you're fighting.

In 2000, I witnessed someone dive in front of a huge train in my neighbourhood. Needless to say, he killed himself, so I know what the experience of seeing someone do that is like. I did not know the person, although it upset me (to this day) immensely. I can only imagine the pain you are going through.....

It is ok to feel anger. Try to let it out a little at a time. Journal, draw, rip up pages of things. It is absolutely normal to feel intense anger at this time.

Take care. Hope you feel better soon.

desparado