Tink,
I wish I had a magical way of making you feel better but I don't. I can't even say I understand it all. My mom is where all my problems stem from and I have chosen not to talk to her knowing I have set myself up to feel guilt and pain later on. I'm just not willing to risk any more pain from her for at least now. All I can say is that I'm thinking about you and am here if you want to talk.