Haha! We really are speaking the same language, that's for sure. It is a huge relief.

Yes, I can definitely rationalize it. I KNOW I'm being messed up, but I have no control of it (no control over those feelings of rejection and the other feelings that follow). Then like you said I make it worse, I get obsessed about it and dwell on it while other people are having a good time.

Then when you mention:

"Just someone not calling me back or saying thank you to me can send me on a downward spiral. This even goes for famiily members. If i write an email to my aunt, lets say, and she doesnt respond, i automatically think that she doesnt love me anymore and finds me annoying."

I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH! If someone for instance doesn't thank me for something minor (let's say lending them a book or picking up their laundry) I will think "wow, what the hell? I'm so unappreciated, they don't love me, they don't care. no one loves me." When hey, they're probably just too busy or preoccupied. Yes, if someone doesn't call me or invite me somewhere, I will start the same process. It's self-perpetuating.

I once fell into a depression because I went to a social thing and a few casual friends were standing there having this conversation about shopping or what have you. They looked at me and smiled. I came up to join in BUT they didn't say hi. (I'm not even interested in shopping or clothes or any of that crap AND they were in the middle of a conversation!!!). I felt so out of place, SO different, I felt isolated and alienated. I felt completely snubbed and rejected. They came and said hi later (proof that they were not rejecting me), but my depressive mood continued. I had sunk into the spiral "I have no friends, I never will. They don't care..." And on and on and ON.
When I mentioned earlier it's "all-or-nothing" for me, that's what I meant, they either LOVE me or they HATE me. There's no balance.

LOL. :repeatedly bangs head on wall:

Thanks for being here