I would prefer not to be alive either but I have people who cares for me and I will not hurt them by giving up on life.

Also I know that when I come in here that sometime a kind word from me to someone can make a a lot of difference in their life.

Maybe if I can't be happy myself, I can bring happiness in someone else life that is struggling as I do.

You don't know what tomorrow may bring and maybe tomorrow you will prefer to be alive. Hope and believe in tomorrow. Life has a way sometime to change things.