(((debb))) welcome to PC! I can understand your not wanting to wait until you are in deep depression to begin to curb it. I wonder how you feel when you read your own post back, as though someone else had written it?

You do sound blue, imo. Why not make that appointment for therapy and see if you can nip this in the bud. After 6 months, research has found that meds or psychotherapy have about the same results. But don't be afraid to try meds again if you need them, a combination can often help too. (Unless you have contraindications of medicines)

There are quizzes onsite... see the task bar. Perhaps that would help you with another objective observation about your sadness? TC!

You certainly have reasons to be sad, but if you can counter the sadness, it would be in your best interest! I'm glad to see your spouse is watchful and supportive of you.