I once told my therapist that I didn't feel important to anyone. Being a therapist, she said, "Not even me?"

And I said, "No. I know that I can't do anything to hurt you. That means I'm really not that important."

I don't know where these words came from. I had never expressed them before, and I have absolutely no intention of hurting her. I think what I was trying to say was that I didn't feel like our relationship is really *real*, since I know I can't influence her emotions--including hurt and anger. But the words didn't come out like this.

In response, my therapist said, "Of course, you can't hurt me! But that doesn't mean you aren't important. My own children can't hurt me! They can make me angry, but they can't hurt me. And they are important to me."

I don't understand the difference between anger and hurt. I don't think there is a difference. But her words sound eerily similar to what your therapist said. They must have learned that in school or something.