I am not really considering my situation as abuse other than emotional. Which is difficult in its own. I am not sure what you are refering to. My father despite his best efforts has never understood what it should be like to have a father. He had a father but he was an alcoholic. My father despite not being an alcoholic was a work-a-holic. It may have been his escape from the reality he had children, something he may have never been allowed to be. My mother who did loose her father at an early age dotes on my dad probably because she is afraid to loose him. He has alienated almost all of us. We hardly speak to them because he continues to treat us like we are winers. If we have a bad day he has no sympathy, basically ignores our feelings. I know his mother wouldn't let him cry. I know that is corney but I remember grandma not letting me cry when I was little. I was scared to death to stay with her because she made me sleep in Grandpa's bedroom. They had separate rooms so that tells you how great their relationship was. (He was dead, but I thought he had died there? As a child it was tramatic for me) I had two sisters and a brother. We are all big babies in his eyes. Not tough enough to handle life, which strangely enough his tougher than nails mother committed suicide. So then you wonder is it us who is not tough or their facade of being tough a hoaks. My brother rarely visits, he is 45 and single. My little sister has refused to admit we are family. My older sister is giving up the battle. She being the oldest tried for years to keep us together but I think she has given up too. Myself, I don't know what to do.