Hi everyone.

I did in fact come out alive, albeit a little bit upset. I was getting a lot of what I call base dissociation (where others are not taking over but I sort of feel like I am in a bubble or a tunnel far far away and everything sort of fuzzes over)excuse my use of termage

I found out that today was the first part of six appointments to investigate, where I thought it was going to be all in one day. Pdoc is lovely, she is very nice... I dont trust her yet but I mean thats sort of figureable.

They are pulling my med records from my birthparents. Its scary.

Told pdoc about mood swings, anxiety attacks, previous PTSD diagnosis and various other issues. Hinted at dissociation but certainly wasnt comfortable enough to tell of DID diagnosis yet.. she will find out if she pulls my files previously I would guess

Took the rest of the day off work as I was dissociating afterwards pretty badly. I felt like I was in a vat of molasses. Could have easily gotten into an accident just crossing the road (came close one time - I walked out in the crosswalk without even realizing that the sign didnt say walk on a busy highway - thank god there was only one car and he stopped and honked)

Better and safer to be inside I think.

So, here I am. A little battle weary but not dead.

Littles are hiding.

Teen is sceptical. Doesn't like the "fancy woman." (she was wearing nice clothes and a pretty necklace) and doesnt trust her.

So, that is where I am at.