Indie, bless your heart, no one's going to judge you. I don't think you're a "slut" or anything like that by any means at all. You're an adult, and you have the ability to make decisions like this. It's okay!

That being said Indie, it is a decision. I do understand your perspective. Pressure like that is easy to give in to, and humans are naturally curious about things like that, particularly at our age. But understand as well that you do have a right to say no, and I implore you, if you're not 100% comfortable in doing something, don't do it. If he gives you any...well, crap, to be blunt, about it, he's not the guy for you, IMO.

I'd usually tell someone that if they're being safe, as long as they're comfortable, it's A-okay. I don't think your Grandmother is condemning you from Heaven. However, you DON'T seem comfortable with this. That could be due to how quickly it happened or to the newness of it all, but either way, if you're not comfortable, say no! If he asks again, tell him that last night was new for you, and that you'd like to slow down a little, and (if you so choose) ease back into it (or not. Again, your choice. ). If he doesn't understand that or pressures you, I implore you to reaffirm your no. Both of you need to be willing and ready.

Sex by itself is not some evil, wretched act (and cybersex by extension certainly isn't either). It just needs to be between two consenting, ready adults. You are not a bad person for this.

If I can do anything for you, feel free to shoot me a PM. I'm here daily, at the very least, and I'm familiar with this particular issue. I'm happy to help.

My best,
Harley