Yeh I hear you carmasia,

I do pretty well if I keep it casual and with a shared focus, I can still be social but not have my traits emerge.

I am doing pretty well with meeting people and being social at AA meetings, art events, gaming, lectures, various forums I visit. As long as I keep it simple and superficial, keep the focus on the shared focus. I will talk a bit about myself and ask the other person but then change the subject directly back to what it is we're there for.

Of course this isn't the kind of bond I crave, but I already know that no amount of approval, support, affection or interaction will fill that 'lonliness' for me. It's a start, I think...I hope?

I'm also kind of learning how to be my own friend, ya know? Treat me well, like I would an unconditional friend, at least I know I would never leave myself. LOL... that's a different kind of problem isnt it.

I try to just keep it simple , very basic and almost childlike...it's working I think for now. Anyway, that's where I'm at, until I can trust myself to form deeper bonds.

I totally KNOW where you're coming from carmasia. Thank you for sharing. I relate to this 100%.