first time posting her and I am not sure I should . brief history. When the world gets to be to much for me I reach for the xanax which I am no longer prescribed. I don't take 1 I take 5 or more just anything to knock me out. I have come to the point where this is a habit and I suffer so bad when I don't allow myself to take them. Now everyone, my T, my case manager, my bf all think I need to look at the fact that my abuse is becoming an addiction. I believe I have it under control and have not used for 2 days. They all want me to consider very stronly that I attend NA. I don't believe I need to. I think I am in control and don't have a problem. The funny thing is I am getting certified as a drug and alcohol counselor aand can see the signs but will not admit to them so much denial. afraid of what it would say about me to admit I have a problem. Just so confused and lost. do't know which way to turn. where do I go from here?