Sex is a complicated issue for most - its not unusual for people to want sex and nor is it to not want sex if you are ok with that. It sounds like you're more concerned about how this is affecting your relationship - while nothing might replace sex for your husband, what else do you do to ensure closeness between you? Do you think couples therapy might help you both? That might help you work through these issues together and improve trust and the like which in turn could help you 'let go' to use your turn of phrase. Im sorry to hear about what happened to you when you were younger, have you had any support for that since? I hope this matter improves for both you and your relationship, all the best