I can understand how hard it is to step away after investing so much emotionally into a partnership with someone. It sounds as though you are more afraid of being alone than being with someone who is invalidating and abusive. I think you need to examine, with a therapist possibly, what these feelings towards your partner are doing for you and as another poster mentioned, work on better establishing your own identity. I hope in time you see this as an oppertunity to move on and find someone more worthy of your love. Keep us updated, all the best.