It sounds like you just did admit it. Everything will be alright, maybe you can try other options. Try meditating, yoga, and exercise. Try reading. Have you seen a therapist? Maybe addressing and dealing with the issue that is causing you to want to take the Xanax may help.

One thing you can do is write a letter as if you are writing to a therapist. Be sure to write down all your feelings about why you are taking the medicine. The next day, read the letter as if you are the therapist. Write out what thoughts came across your mind as you read the letter and offer some advice. This may be difficult because you will have to step outside the box, but it is worth a shot.

Whatever suggestions you have for yourself, practice them.