I know I said that I was doing better, but today something hit me and I feel very bad and worthless. I know that I have worth somewhere, but right now I don't feel it and believe I never will. I really wish I had someone to hold and talk to, because I feel like my time is about up. I'm thinking I am in need of some serious help, but everyone I talk to sounds like they are hateful and don't want to be bothered. People don't understand. My Bucky would lay in front of me in bed and be covered with the blanket and resting his head on my arm and I would hold his front paw with my hand and give him a gentle squeeze and then he would then squeeze my hand back. He would come to my car right to my door and greet me when I got home. He would look at the microwave and meow when he was hungry, and I would cook him special chicken. He stood right beside me when I would fly my model planes. He laid beside my telescope when I looked at the stars. He followed me everywhere. When I shopped for food, everything I bought was something that we would share. I can't express the bond that we have. I want that back! I need him back! I know I need some serious help.

My name is Matt