I am not happy.
I am dead inside.
AND
No one cares.
It seems as though no matter how many times I try to get help and support from those around me, my cries go unanswered.
We (my husband and I) are in severe financial distress.
I’ve given into my husband’s pressure to purchase one new car after another for the past 11 years. What makes this extreme is that we’ve had least 9 cars in the 11 years.
I was forced by my husband to move from the first home that we owned into a new, much larger and much more expensive home.
I’ve been forced to spend money that we (my husband and I) don’t have in order to put a swimming pool in the backyard of the home that we moved into.
I run an in-home daycare to try to help make ends meet financially.
I have been told by my parents that they feel what I do is degrading and not what they had wanted to see me do with my future. What they cannot accept is that by my watching other people’s children out of the house I have been able to stay at home with my daughter for the past 2 years.
I have been %#@&#! on, walked all over, taken advantage of, cheated out of money and just torn apart by the parents that I serve.
I am having a difficult time filling openings in my home-based daycare.
I’ve had one child that I watched out of my home and that I cared deeply for ripped away from my care for no apparent reason.
In yet another attempt to bring money into my home, I have spent quite a bit trying to get a home-based bird breeding business off the ground with no success.
I don’t know that I can go back to work outside the home and make enough money. What I mean is that in order to make the money that we need to pay our bills I’d have to be paid an extreme amount of money hourly due to the fact that my daughter would have to be put in daycare.
I don’t want to have to put my daughter in daycare. I know that she will not be cared for in the manner in which I care for her. She is a very spoiled and pampered little girl that pretty much gets what she wants when she wants it and I cannot bear the thought of her being hungry all day long due to the fact that she will not eat what food they present her with and I do know for a fact that they will not work around her needs/wants.
I have been experiencing scary and saddening dreams.
I have a father that doesn’t know how to express his feelings for me.
I have a mother that doesn’t appreciate anything in life much less all that I do for her, my father and my younger sister. She also verbally abused me when I was living at home calling me horrible names.
I have a brother that is an alcoholic and was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive to me in years past.
I have a sister that expects to have the world revolve around her and that only treats me like a human when there is something in it for her.
My mother, sister, brother and father all at one time or another have belittled me for the weight that I have gained and made fun of me for having Social Anxiety Disorder.
I am being forced into accepting that my husband is going to be going out of town for a couple of days in August for work leaving behind both my daughter and I.
I have to take medications to keep severe depression from setting in and to keep myself from going crazy as a result of all of the crap that I have to put up with.
I have a mother-in-law, and two sister-in-laws that at the core of their being are nothing but evil
I want to put an end to my pain.
I feel neglected.
I feel abused.
I do not feel loved.
I need help!